Well, I went back to work yesterday with some trepidation but except for the usual irritations it was ok. I say that a lot "ok"....asi asi, comme ci comme ça. Yup....I can't say "I'M GREAT"!! but I also can't say "I'M HAVING A REALLY BAD DAY" so the alternative is somewhere in the middle. There is always something going on in my life - usually financially related that is pulling me down, but I do offset that with the beauty of the moment. That cannot be taken away from me.

Fortunately or unfortunately I have NEVER been the happiest person on the planet. I've had patches of time when I felt great and things were going wonderful but they were followed by times of pain or frustration or worry. I spent years reading self help books trying to alter that. It worked for a time, but pretty much I ended up back in the middle. My spiritual journey has definitely helped. Perhaps when I was younger I didn't notice the flowers, the singing birds, the morning glories growing on the side of our building in a sea of concrete when we lived in NYC...but today I focus on these things....I focus on the things that matter despite the underlying other stuff going on.

OK, that was not my plan to go there. I feel like crying this morning and I do not know why. This happens sometimes...oh what is the date?? Tomorrow is July 1st. That explains it! I'm almost due for my monthly period. That always happens near the beginning of the month and I, like so many other women, get melancholy. Phew now I can move on.

Last night the baby question came up. Madeleine asked me how a baby comes to be in a Mom's tummy. The daughter of the woman that watches Madeleine is pregnant and she is quite young and not married. I think this is where the curiosity comes from. Fortunately, we have new baby lab pups on the property and she has already learned which is a boy and which is a girl. She knows that boys have penises and girls have vaginas. So I explained the whole thing very matter of factly. Penis, vagina, sperm, egg, etc. I asked her if she understood. She shook her head no and got very quiet and laid down. 5 minutes later she jumps up and says "oh I get it - the boy puts his penis in the girls vagina, squirts something in there and the girl gets a baby from it" And voila! We finished our conversation about the birds and the bees!! She did me afterward if Claudio (she refers to her father by his name) put his penis in my vagina and I just said yes. She giggled and said oh and that was the end of it.

You see, when I was a child no one explained ANYTHING to me. The one and only conversation I had with my parents about babies or sex was when I was in 5th grade and going to one of those movies about having your period and my mother explaining what will happen when I have my period...basically reiterating what the movie already told me. I found out everything I knew from my friends, actions, or experience. My point being I'm not going to mince words with my daughter...I'm going to tell her everything like it is. I'll wait for her to ask the questions, but I'm going to tell her the truth because I believe that children can understand more than we think they can understand.

Hold on Madeleine wants to brush my hair and I certainly cannot forego that ..cause if I had my druthers I'd have someone brush my hair and touch my head for the majority of every day. She wants to play beauty parlor. :0) Am I lucky or what?

We're done and now, well it's time to get ready for our day....again.

How are you (or might you if you had children) dealing with the Birds and the Bees.

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